EMDR Thearpy

I haven't felt like writing in a while and I believe it's because I am getting more and more depressed. But I felt like I would like to know about this in the furture. So today I am going to be doing EMDR therapy for the first time. I'm extremely nervous about. I do and don't want to do it. If anyone happens to read this and doesn't know what EMDR is, here is a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ5MLn1Cc94

If I continue to do this therapy I am going to want to keep a log of how its progressing. I'm going to write it, but I may also video record me talking about it. I don't know yet. 

These past few days have been very tedious on my brain. I keep doing things never wanting to relax. My brain constently feels like it needs to think, think, think, I'm still taking my Adderall so I don't know why I am like this. There is so much that I want to do that I keep up with it. I keep finding new things to do or research and I'm afraid I won't get what I need done actually done. 

My heart has been stolen.

I've noticed I'm starting to get depressed. I feel awful. Each day that passes I'm hating Eric more and more. I have no idea what he is going through, so I can't say he did it to me on purpose. I can't stop thinking about everything else though. I hate him because of how much he hurt me, but I feel so bad that he lets his emotions rule him. Him not wanting to control his anger is what makes me hate him so much. I love him, but I will never be able to love him the way I did before.

I'm beginning to feel I meant nothing to him. He never opened up to me before so what makes me think he will now. Especially since we aren't even together. I just want to forget about him. I'm beginning to feel empty. Like he literally took my heart away from me.