I guess I finally realized why I was able to wake up everyday not depressed out of my mind. After Eric said it was over I realized that he really didn't love me. That the things he did to me were not acceptable. I was then able to move on because I was losing something that was more bad for me than good.
When he told me on Thanksgiving that his Dad died, I did feel bad, but I also felt like he didn't deserve my love anymore. The only thing was that I did in fact still love him. I just could not stop caring about the emotional pain he would be going through.
He was happy to hear I still cared. I was happy to hear that I was still wanted. I told him I was there for him if he needed anything. From then on things were fine, but he never needed anything. At least not from me anyway. He was with his friend Josh for a while and his family was there to help. Me and Eric should have an even deeper connection, but he never needed me.
He keeps telling me he is afraid he will want to get back together. I can understand that, but why would he tell me about what happened and not expect me to still care about him. He doesn't know if he needs me in his life.
I let my guard down again for him. I did it to be there for him because he came to me. I opened my arms up to him. I am only left unrequited and hurt.
I'm so confused about what to do and how to feel. He is going through a hard time right now. It hurts he can't come to me for comfort and support.
I really should just forget about him. I guess...
No comments:
Post a Comment